I am extremely blessed to be in CSM. CSM is an organization that takes the Gospel in both the word and spirit and applies it to evangelizing in Vancouver, Canada. It also is forming me as both a human and a spiritual being. I am a recently converted Catholic. Admittedly I feel on fire many days of the month, but the trouble with a new Catholic who is on fire, (and I have heard this from a nun) is the new Catholic staying on fire. CSM helps push me to be truer to my faith. And since being hired as a full-time missionary, I must stay true. Having a regimented prayer schedule is an important part of my work life. Daily mass is encouraged for me and my schedule happens around it as long as I am willing to sacrifice some extra hours of sleep. I have started going to adoration (exposition of the holy sacrament) after being introduced to it at one of our events. Jesus enraptured me slowly, but surely. I love praying to get to know our Lord better. I feel during adoration; the voice of God that I felt when I first started going to Mass in June 2021. This voice is full of loving silence. It is close to the comfort I feel when I speak to an open and honest soul we find on the street. They can be so lost but when we talk to them and pray with them their body lights up. It is as though they remembered something they forgot. I am pretty sure that is what it is. In actuality I think in the heart of every man and woman and especially children is the idea of a loving God. It is only the world that convinces us otherwise. Mankind cannot disown the actual truth, because it is, when not covered up by sin and a coarse heart, self-evident. Giving ourselves to God is setting us up for a much greater reward, but how difficult it is to remove ourselves and detach from the world.
The only way I have ever found this works is to pray with no limit. Don’t be afraid to cry to God. He wants to hear it. Many of us suffer everyday silently. We are herded by the spirit against Christ right off a cliff. Only if we forget our learned “grown-up” demeanor and we learn to cry out to God will he be able to listen. Otherwise we risk a life that seems hard to imagine to us but in reality we are so close because the people who live on the other side at the bottom of the cliff are just like us in every way.
When we realize God, we realize there is more at stake than just us. He is asking us to go out and bring others up. He isn’t asking us to convert and round people up to say they believe. We can’t do that anyways; only he can. He is only asking us to cast out our nets and bring them up to him. Someone has to do it, why not me? We as good people love to correct others, why don’t we love to help save others as much? We can only do it through him, with him, and in him in his almighty love.